





« o 



^V 



<& l 




« * * ° 






c5^ 






%J %££*« X</ 




V-y 




































- 



*.'«>_ VS"^ 


















&**+, 






«£ 



2? 



»^X<> 

























^ 
























oW?* ^ '- ■• d/ ^ oVj 










A BLACK D 



J^ ®#tnic grama in giw J^jcts 



BY 



M. R. ORNE 

AUTHOR OF " THE COUNTRY SCHOOL," ETC. 






rrrOv' 



BOSTON 




1890 



% ©33 8 h 



CHARACTERS. 

HuLDA ...... yl " b lack diamond" 

Emily Makepeace "} 

Minnie Makepeace \ . Cousins, boarding i?i the country 

i 
Fannie Makepeace J 

Dr. Zinn (Miss Matilda Makepeace) . Their aunt 

Claremont Goodell . A college graduate -who is 

■working for his board on the farm 

Capt. Charles Houston) 

> T-wo English " dudes" 

Mr. George Radford ) 



COSTUMES. 

Emily, Minnie and Fannie. — Fashionable white dresses. 

Dr. Zinn, alias Miss Matilda Makepeace. — Plain gray dress, white mus- 
lin cap, and gray curls; in the second act, black silk dress, dainty white lace 
cap, curls, etc. 

Claremont Goodell. — Rough farm suit, gingham blouse and heavy boots 
on first appearance; and on second, dress suit. 

Capt. Houston. — Dark blue flannel suit, fancy shirt, cane, and high cav- 
alry boots. 

Mr. Radford. —White or light lawn-tennis suit, light gloves, cane, low 
shoes, high collar, etc. 

Hulda. — Short dress, long-sleeved tire, hair knotted with bright colored 
ribbons, black stockings, etc. 




Copyright, iSoo, 
By WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 



-5146 



A BLACK DIAMOND. 



ACT I. 

SCENE I. Sitting-room in a farmhouse. 
(Enter Hulda, with arms akimbo.} 
Hulda (Jo audie?ice} . Ef dis yer aint de bestest place 
I eber was in. Fs glad I aint a poor little orfling any- 
longer. I aint now lease Miss Minnie's tuk me ter brung up. 
{Laughs.} Hi! hi! hi! Fs been staym' in de city, but I 
don't like it, yer has ter be ser prim an' scrimonious. Fur 
right smart good time give me dis yer kentry bo'din' house. 
Miss Minnie, she's off mos' de time climbin' hills wid dem 
dudes — hi! hi! hi! — Golly aint dem fine! — an 1 dey don' 
hev no use fur me when dem oder dudes is roun 1 . Wish't 
yer could heah dem dudes talk though. A fo' year old baby 
'ud do better. Dey makes me larf ! I met dat Mis'r Rad- 
ford in de dark las' night an' I say ' Scat!' an' — He! hi! 
hi! Golly didn't he run — an holler! — you'd a fought de 
day ob jedgment hed come fur sho ! All de bo'ders come 
runnin out an he say he met de ebil one hisself, but Miss 
Embly — she's a heap sight better'n dem oder white trash — 
she tole him he must a seed his own shadder — Hi! hi! hi! 
— kase dey all hunted and hunted (Laughs. } an 1 I helped 
'em too — Hope ter die ef I didn't — (Impressively.} an' we 
couldn't find nobody roun' ! Den dar's dat doctor woman. 
She say dar aint no sech t'ing as aches, an' pains, an' 
measles, an' mumps an' all dat. She say dat peoples only 
'magines 'em. I don't beliebe no sech trash as dat, kase 
aint I had 'em all, an 1 a good deal more, too, an' I guess 
when I has de jumpin' toof ache I don' set down an' 
'magines I got it — it's dar, an' I knows it's dar! — an' Fd 
like ter see de chile dat 'ud 'magine it wa'n't dar when it am ! 
She's one ob dem air mod'n scientisses. I tink dey mus' be 
diffrunt from oder folks ter beliebe it deyself. Now ef Miss 



4 A BLACK DIAMOND. 

Fan \id only beliebe it, it might do some good. Miss Fan 
finks she's got de dyspepsy, an' when she don't forget 'bout 
it, she goes roun' de house wid her hands up ter her head a 
groanin' (imitates) : ' O, dis dyspepsy ! when shall I get ober 
dis dyspepsy ! ' an' she groans an' she whines an' takes de 
little white candy t'ings — dey don't do no good. Dey's 
good tastin' though. I foun' one ob de bottles full an' ate 'em 
up de oder day. Mas'r Clare he say I's a bad girl, but I's 
us't ter that. I likes Mar's Clare. He makes dem dudes 
stan' roun' now. Dey dassent put on dere airs ter dat 
doctor 'fo' him — Hark ! {Listening. ) Who's dat a comin' ! 
Holy Moses in de bulrushes, whaur'll I hide ! I don't want 
ter meet dat doctor woman — 

(Enter Emily with some bright worsted work.) 

Hulda. O, Miss Embly, am dat you ? How you fright- 
ened me. Does I look pale ? 

Emily. Are you carrying round a guilty conscience this 
morning, Hulda ? I — 

Hulda (hurriedly putting hand in pocket). No — no, 
Miss Embly, I aint carryin' round noffin' what don' b'long 
ter me — honest an' true, I aint — hope ter die. (Slyly 
takes a white lace cap out of her pocket and hecks it up 
under her tire. ) You ken look in my pockets ! 

Emily. I fear you've been up to more mischief, Hulda. 
I have my suspicions about Mr. Radford's ghost last night. 
I shouldn't be at all surprised to find you had a hand in it. 

Hulda. Law, Miss Embly, does I look like a ghost ! 
Little brack niggers like me don't eber be ghosts, do dey ? 

(The cap falls to the floor tmobserved by Hulda.) 

Emily. Why Hulda what is this ! One of Dr. Zinn's 
lace caps ! 

Hulda (throwing up both hands in astonishment). I 
declar ter gracious ! how'd dat ar cap get down in dis yer 
settin'-room. Dat doctor mus' a dropped it offener head. 

Emily (severely) . Hulda ! that cap wasn't there when 
I came into the room. 

Hulda. An' it wasn't dar when I cum in eder, Miss 
Embly, dat am de solium truf. Dar mus' be a ghos' roun' 
dis yer house ! 

Emily. Now, Hulda, I want to give you a little good 
advice. (Hulda sighs.) You know Miss Minnie has only 



A BLACK DIAMOND. 5 

taken you on trial and if you yield to this mischievous pro- 
pensity of yours I fear she will give you up in despair. 

Hulda. Now, Miss Embly, I hope ter die ef I put dat ar 
cap on de flo' dar. I went inter dat doctor woman's room 
fur a errand this mawnin' an 1 praps it kotched onter a 
button er a pin an' dropped down an 1 — 

Emily. Hulda, Hulda, you are an incorrigible! what — 

Hulda (solemnly). I hope ter die ef I is, Miss Embly. 
I couldn't help dat ar fallin' no mo' n I could help de sky a 
fallin'. (Beginning to cry.) Taint no more use fur me ter 
try ter be good dan — dan — dan — 

Emily. But Hulda, you can be good if you try ; and 
this is not the only way you offend ; you are rude to many 
of the boarders and particularly to my cousins 1 friends. 

Hulda (still wiping her eyes but laughing'). Hi! hi! 
hi ! Land sakes, Miss Embly, I don' mean no harm. Dem 
baby men does make my risibles go up ! up ! up ! (jumps up) 
an' he ! he ! he ! I can't keeps 'em down nohow. I tries ter 
be good, but 'taint no use, Miss Embly ! I's a brack sheep, 
I is. 

Emily. Miss Minnie will not always be patient with you, 
especially if she sees that you are disrespectful to her friends. 
But where are my cousins, Hulda? 

Hulda. Dey's been down ter de mail office fur der letters 
an' ter meet de stage ; but it's mos' time fur 'em ter be back, 
I reckon. P'raps dey's come now. I'll go look fur em ef 
yer wants me to. 

Emily. No. (Sits down to work.) They will probably 
be in here as soon as they return from their walk ; but you 
may go and tell Dr. Zinn that I will copy those letters for her 
if she is ready. 

Hulda. Yes, miss ; an' shall I take up dat ar' cap an' 
tell how you'n me foun 1 it hyar on de flo' all on a suddint like 
it dropped right fro' de ceilin' ? 

Emily (gravely). Hulda, I'll take care of the cap. 

Hulda. Dat's right, Miss Embly. Don't let dat ar' 
ghost grab it. ag'in. An' ef she's out? 

Emily (smiling). Well, if the doctor's out you need not 
return immediately, but bring them as soon as she comes in. 

Hulda. Yes, miss. (Exit Hulda.) 

Emily. Well, I quite agree with Hulda concerning Capt. 
Houston and Mr. Radford. I do wish my cousins would not 



6 *A BLACK DIAMOND. 

make quite so much of them. Fancy having either of them 
for a husband ! {After a pause.) I wish aunt had come ; she 
at least would keep the girls straight. She wrote papa that 
she would get here before we did, but we've been here a week 
and haven't heard a word from her. How strange it seems to 
have relations you've never seen, but how delightful to come 
to this beautiful farm to meet her for the first time. I hope 
we shall like her, though papa says she is very eccentric. 

{Enter Minnie a7id Fannie with mail.) 

Minnie. Here's a letter for you, Coz. O, how I v/ish 
you'd been with us! {Taking off gloves and hat.) We've 
had the loveliest time and seen some of the funniest people 
imaginable ! 

Fannie. Yes, the stage was full of people ; but auntie 
didn't come. Isn't it too bad ! I'm afraid she's sick or some- 
thing ; but we did pity the passengers ; they looked so hot 
and tired and dusty — and there were two of the most stylish 
looking young men aboard I ever saw. They were perfectly 
lovely ! How I wish they were coming here ! 

Emily. There are too many young men here already. 
I do wish you would be more sensible, girls. I know that 
neither uncle nor aunt would approve of your making so much 
of those two young Englishmen ; but it hasn't taken you all 
this time to go to the office and see the stage come in, has it? 

Minnie. O, no, indeed ! The stage was very late. We 
wanted to have some fun, so we went over to the graveyard 
near by, while we waited — and we nearly died laughing. 

Emily. I never discovered anything very exhilarating or 
enlivening about a graveyard. What do you mean? 

Minnie. Why the epitaphs ! 

Fannie. Don't you remember? Miss Woodhouse told us 
about them the other evening and advised us to go and read 
them. 

Emily. O, yes, I do recollect now — andCapt. Houston's 
remark about it, too. 

M. and F. O, what did he say? 

Emily. That Miss Woodhouse was making light of a 
' gwave affair ' ! 

Fanny. Now wasn't that witty of him. 

Emily. It was witty for him ; but he has probably heard 
someone else say it. You may depend upon it, it was not 
original, 



A BLACK DIAMOND. / 

Minnie. You are too critical, Emily. Those young men, 
I know, are used to the best society in London. You should 
hear Mr. Radford talk about some of his club friends. Why 
there are Lord Somers and Count Lennox, the Duke of Somer- 
set, and Prince Zinneo. 

Emily. Well, let's turn the conversation ; tell me about 
the epitaphs if they are not too shocking. 

Fannie. Wait till I find my crochet needle. — Oh ! here 
it is. Tell her about Arabella Young's inscription first, 
Minnie. 

Minnie. If I only had a pencil I'd write them off short 
hand, so I shaVt forget them. {Looks around and finds 
paper. ) 

Emily. Here's a pencil. 

Minnie. Thanks. {Thoughtfully.') Let me see. O, Pve 
got it ! ( Writes rapidly and then reads. ) 

" Beneath this stone {Pause. ~) returned to clay, {Pause.) 
Lies Arabella Young, {Pause.) 
Who on the twenty-first of May {Pause. ) 
Began to hold her tongue." 

Emily. Probably it killed her. But what an appropriate 
epitaph that will be for you, Minnie, one of these days. You 
cannot deceive me, however, you are making this up. 

Minnie {laughing). No, really, are we Fan? 

Fannie {laughing) . No. It's already made up ! 

Emily. Evasive replies. Go on, remember I can verify 
all your statements by visiting the place myself. 

Minnie {writes a line, tJien^reads as before). 

li Here lies the body of poor Charles Lang — 
Killed by a tree that fell slap bang ! " 

Emily. How touching ! 

Minnie. What, the tree? Yes, I have no doubt poor 
Charles thought so. 

Fannie. And here's one I remember, Minnie. Jot it 
down before I forget it : 

' ' Here lies little Johnny Day {Pause. ) 
He neither cries nor frets {Pause.) 
He just had passed his thirteenth year — {Pause.) 
Cigarettes ! " 

Emily. How pathetic, and how considerate to explain 
why this thirteen-year-old boy should be an exception to the 



8 A BLACK DIAMOND. 

rule — " He neither cries nor frets — Cigarettes ! " But what 
wonderful memories you two have suddenly developed. How 
long have you been committing these. Has Capt. Houston 
presented you 'with a book of epitaphs? 

Fannie. O, here's another! "Erected to the memory 
.of John Phillips accidentally shot as a mark of affection by 
his brother." (All laugh.} Got that down? 

Minnie. Yes ; I wish I could think of that one about the 
drawbridge. It begins, 

" ' Drawbridge shut,' the signal said, 

" 'Twasn't shut. Alas ! how solemn," — 

Now, how does the rest go ? 
Fannie. I have it. 

" Such is life — see list of dead, 
On other side this column ! " 

Emily. You two girls should devote yourselves to epitaph 
writing. You are doing very well for amateurs. Make up 
some more. 

Minnie (laughing). Well, if you won't believe us, you can 
go and see for yourself. 

Fannie. Here's another, Minnie ! " Here lies" — 

Minnie. Wait! wait a minute. (Writes rapidly.) All 
right. Now go on. 

Fannie. " Here lies my poor wife much lamented, 
She's happy, and I'm contented." 

Emily. Really you'll incite me to an attempt at poetry if 
you go on — but who ever heard of such a thing; here I've 
been holding this letter in my hand for the last ten minutes 
and haven't looked at it's contents — nor even to see from 
whom it came. If you'll excuse me, girls, I'll read it. 

Both. Certainly. 

Minnie. It looks to me like auntie's writing. Perhaps it 
explains why she hasn't arrived. 

Fannie. O my dyspepsia ! It's beginning to trouble me 
again, Minnie. What shall I do ? I've tried lime water, 
and hot water, and cold water, and especially lime water, but 
it doesn't seem to do any good. I shall give up in despair ! 
I shall die, I know I shall ! 

Minnie. All right, Fannie, I'll compose your epitaph. 
How's this : 



A BLACK DIAMOND. 9 

" Here lies returned to dust 
A victim of lime water. 
She gave it up in her disgust 
And watchful Death soon caught her." 

Fannie. If you only knew how dreadfully I feel, Minnie, 
you wouldn't treat me so. I shall die, I know I shall ! 
( Walks about with hands on head. ) 

Emily. Aunt is under the care of a physician. She 
says, " Do not expect me for two or three weeks. 1 ' Isn't it 
too bad ? 

Minnie. Yes, I wonder what she looks like. I wish we 
had a picture of her. 

Emily. Papa says she never would have one taken. She 
is very eccentric, you know. 

Fannie. Yes, but she's worth a cool hundred thousand, 
and that covers a multitude of sins. I can't say that I like 
eccentric people though. {Takes out two little vials.') 
Which one was it I took last, Minnie ? Was it No. i or 
No. 2 ? 

Minnie. I'm sure I don't know. Why don't you consult 
Dr. Zinn ? She doesn't give medicines, you know, so you'd 
have no bother with them. 

{Enter Dr. Zinn unperceived.) 

Fannie. What! that old hag — a modern scientist! 
Do you suppose I want to be bewitched and mesmerized by 
her ? Well, I guess not. I'd rather have the dyspepsia a 
thousand times over. 

Emily {rising and offering her hand to Dr. Zinn). 
I'm sorry you overheard my cousin's thoughtless remark, Dr. 
Zinn. She did not mean it I'm sure. (Fanny busies herself 
aboid some sheets of music on the piano, pretending to hum 
over one.} 

Dr. Zinn. It's of no consequence, my dear ; she seems 
to have taken a dislike to me for some reason. I am sorry 
for I think I could help her if she would permit me to make 
the attempt. (Minnie takes up some crochet work, exchang- 
ing glances with Fannie from time to time.) 

Emily. You do not use medicines, I believe, doctor ? 
{Enter Hulda -unperceived.) 

Dr. Zinn {sitting). No. Disease and pain are but 
race beliefs. There is no such thing as either, for there is no 



10 A BLACK DIAMOND. 

sensation in matter. Can this book feel ? No, it is a ma- 
terial substance ; so are our bodies, therefore how can they 
become conscious of pain ? It is the mind that feels — and 
the mind should control matter, not become its slave. Once 
convince a person that he is not sick and has no pain, and 
he no longer suffers. 

(Hulda in pantomime expresses her astonishment at such 
strange doctrine. Then taking from her hat a lojig hat- 
pin cautiously approaches the doctor and runs it into her. 
The doctor springs up with a slight screa?n followed by 
the others who are surprised at the outburst. Hulda* 
stands back abashed. ) 

Hulda. Law, miss, did dat hurt ? 

Minnie. What did you do, Hulda ? 

Hulda. I hope ter die, Miss Minnie, ef I meant ter hurt 
anybody's feelin's. I fought dis yer doctor woman wasn't 
like oder folkses — I hope ter die ef I didn't — an' I wanted 
ter see, dat's all. So I runned dis yer pin inter her — I 
hope ter die ef I didn't, Miss Minnie ! 

Minnie {sternly}. Hulda, go to your room, immedi- 
ately. {Exit Hulda. Minnie and Fanny glance at each 
other as Hulda disappears, burst out laughing aifd follow. \ 

Emily. Dr. Zinn, I am very sorry that my cousins are so 
thoughtless and that this should have happened. I hope 
you were not hurt by Hulda's misdemeanor. I am really 
distressed that this should have occurred. 

Dr. Zinn. Do not let it make you unhappy for a 
moment, my dear. I am not hurt in the least by Hulda's 
prank, but I am sorry for your cousins. By their unkind 
treatment of others they are losing the sweetest part of life ; 
but they are young. I trust their parents do not uphold 
them in such disrespect ? 

Emily. O, no, indeed ! But we are away from our 
parents. We came here to Sudville to meet an aunt of ours. 
'To-day we received word that she cannot come for several 
weeks yet. I am so sorry ! 

Dr. Zinn. And why should you be sorry ? 

Emily. This aunt is my father's favorite sister. I have 
never seen her, but I should like to have a dear old aunt 
here whom I could pet. Then, too, I don't believe the girls 
would be so thoughtless if aunt were here, 



A BLACK DIAMOND. II 

Dr. Zinn. No, perhaps they wouldn't — (Aside) espe- 
cially as she is worth a cool hundred thousand. (To Emily.) 
You say you have never seen this aunt — what do you 
imagine she looks like ? 

Emily. Well, I don't know. I always, imagine her as 
having gray hair. I hope she will, for I do so love gray hair. 

Dr. Zinn. Is this lady, your aunt, older than your father, 
or younger, my dear ? Tell me something about her. 

Emily. Just one year older than he, and about your 
height and complexion, I should judge. 

Dr. Zinn (aside). Can she mistrust ? 

Emily. We have wanted her to come and live with us, 
and I shall try to prevail upon her to go home with me when 
we leave here ; both papa and mamma desire it. 

Dr. Zinn. Your aunt is not married then ? 

Emily. O, no ! It is said that she is a very wealthy 
lady, but papa says he thinks it a false report. She probably 
has enough to live on comfortably and that is all. You see 
poor papa is so busy with his own affairs that he can't keep 
run of even his own sister's ; but we want auntie to come 
and live with us so much ; that is, if she is not as rich as she 
is reported to be. 

Dr. Zinn. And why not if she is rich ? I should think 
that would be more of an object. (Smiling.) 

Emily. In that case it would be better for her to go with 
my cousins, because they live in better style than we. My 
papa has had a great deal to discourage him within the last 
year and has lost a good deal of money. But it seems odd 
that I should talk to you, an almost stranger, of my affairs in 
this way. 

(Enter Capt. Houston and Mr. Radford.) 

Capt. H. (bowing). Good aft'noon, Miss Emily. I 
have not had the pleasaw of seeing you before, to-day. 

Mr. R. Good mawnin' — aw — Miss Emily — aw, I 
mean, good aftawnoon. We have had a fine d-d-day this 
aftawnoon — I mean we've had a — aw — aw — fine aftaw- 
noon — aw — to-d-d-day. 

Emily. Yes, it has been a delightful day — a little warm 
perhaps ; but I have been so very busy that I have hardly 
had time to realize it. This is Dr. Zinn, gentlemen. (Both 
use eyeglasses and bow slightly.) 

Mr. R. So I see — aw. I shouldn't like to be a d-d- 
doctaw, and have to twy all my own medicines, you knaw. 



12 A BLACK DIAMOND. 

Emily. That would be rather sad, Mr. Radford ; but I 
don't believe they would harm you. 

Mr. R. (very much delighted}. Now d-d-don't you, 
weally, Miss Emily? You are so — so — owiginal. Why 
d-d-don't you think they could not hurt me ? 

Emily {sweetly} . There are some things that cannot be 
spoiled, Mr. Radford, and you are one of them. 

Mr. R. Ha ! ha ! Sholly, d-d-d-do you hear that now ! 
You flattaw me, Miss Emily, — aw — you have too high 

— aw — too high — aw — aw — opinion of my — aw — car- 
wactaw. (Fanning himself vigorously . } 

Emily. Not at all, Mr. Radford, I never flatter. 
Mr. R. Weally, now, d-d-don't you, 'pon honaw? 

(Enter Hulda hurriedly.} 

Hulda. Is dat doctah woman heah ? Dere's a little boy 
tumbled down stairs and broked his leg an' dey wants her ter 
come mejitly. Come 'long, honey » ef yer wants ter distinguish 
yerself. 

Dr. Zinn (to Emily). I must go, excuse me please. 

(Exit.} 

Hulda. I'd like ter know how she's a gwine ter mend 
dat broken leg — 'scuse me, I means limb. S'pose she'll say 
he ain't got no broken leg, and make him b'liebe it ; den 
he'll walk right off like dis. ( Walks in direction <?/~Mr. R., 
who. places his eyeglasses and backs slowly. Hulda imitates, 
using a piece of tin or wire for eyeglass.} What's de mattah 
wid you anyway ? Whaur's dat oder eye o' you's ? 

Mr. R. Weally, this is too d-d-dweadful for a — aw — 
civilized community. Miss Emily, will you have the kindness 

— aw — to wemove this d-d-dweadful cweataw ? 

Emily. Hulda, I thought your mistress sent you to your 
room once? 

Hulda. O, she sent me dar mo'n once, Miss Embly. 
She sent me dar fi' times ter day. She likes it an' it don' 
'sturb me none. Say, Miss Embly, I's got a Sunday School 
ques'ion ter arsk you. 

Emily. Well, what is it? 

Hulda. You see de Bible says dat Adam an' Eve was 
de fust parents of all de men an' women in dis yer world. 

Emily. Yes. 

Hulda. An' ob all de little girls an' boys like me? 

Emily. Yes, certainly. 



A BLACK DIAMOND. 13 

Hulda. An' den was dey all 'stroyed 'cept dem dat went 
inter de Ark? 

Emily. Yes. I'm glad you are reading the little Bible I 
gave you, Hulda. It does me good to hear you talk seriously 
once in a while. 

Hulda {thoughtfully*) . Well — I carn't un'erstand dat — 
nohow. 

Emily. What is it you don't understand, Hulda? 

Hulda. Well, you see {counting on her fingers') dar was 
Noah, an' Shem, an' Ham, an' japhet, an' dere wives dat went 
inter dat Ark, an' dat's all, wasn't it — J cept animals? 

Emily. Yes, so the Bible states. 

Hulda. An' dat's all — jess folks like me an' you, an' 
animals ? 
- Emily. Certainly. 

Hulda. Den I'd like ter know whar dem dudes come 
from! {Tableau.') I s'pose dey's no 'count anyway, so dey 
didn't put dem down. 

Capt. H. Weally, Wadford, this is too shocking. This 
little — aw — heathen should be ostwacised. 

Mr. R. Pwecisely ! I — aw — wemarked to her mistwess 
the other day — aw — that I — aw — that I — aw — Well, 
now, by Jove, what did I wemark? — O — O, that I thought 
so myself — aw — pwecisely. I did, now, 'pon honaw ! Yes, 
ostwacised. {Uses eyeglass.) 

Hulda. You'd hev ter ketch me fust, 'fore yer ostrich me ! 
Golly ! wouldn't I give yer a race, do. {Rushes suddenly at 
Radford, to whom she says "Scat! 1 ' 1 and dashes out of the 
room. Radford starts nervously.) 

Emily. You mustn't feel offended at Hulda, Mr. Radford. 
She is a waif whom my cousin is trying to befriend. We all 
put up with a great deal from her, knowing how neglected her 
past has been. 

Mr. R. Well, it's kind — aw — yes, vewy kind of your 
cousin. She must be a — aw — aw — {pauses and looks 
blank) now, by Jove, Sholly, what — O, yes — aw—mis- 
sionawy. 

Emily {aside). I think I'll retire before I have to make 
any more excuses. The position of peacemaker here is any- 
thing but desirable, much as I like harmony. 
{Enter Minnie and Fannie.) 

Minnie. O, here are Mr. Radford and Capt. Houston! 



14 A BLACK DIAMOND. 

We are getting up a ride to Mt. Kearsarge and want you to 
join us. All the young people hereabouts are going. You'll 
go, cousin, and Mr. Goodell? 

Emily {somewhat embarrassed}. I can't answer for Mr. 
Goodell, but I will go if I can get Dr. Zinn's letters copied. 
If you'll excuse me I'll go do them now. {Exit.') 

Fanny. Yes, it's going to be perfectly lovely ! delightful ! 
We are going on buckboards and mountain wagons. You 
will go, won't you? 

Capt. H. Certainly, with pleasure. You may count us 
one of the party, surely. 

Mr. Radford. O — aw — yes — certainly! You may 
count us b-b-b-both one, too. No, no, I d-d-don't mean 
that. I mean that you shall count us two — one. ( Thought- 
fully.) W T eally, that is a vewy peculiar sentence. How can 
two b-b-b-be one? That's a conundwum, Miss Fanny; 
d-d-do you like conundwums? 

Fanny. Yes, very much. We must have some the next 
rainy day to pass away the time. 

Mr. R. That one was owiginal, Miss Fanny. 

Fanny. Was it? How delightful! What is the answer 
Mr. Radford? 

Mr. R. Weally, now, I hadn't thought of that. Widdles 
have to have answers, don't they? 

Fanny. Yes, — of course, — but — 

Minnie (who has been conversing in pantomime with Capt. 
H.). Capt. Houston prefers a double buckboard to the 
mountain wagon; Mr. Radford, what do you think? 

Mr. R. Certainly. Of course he will d-d-dwive. I 
d-d-don't like to handle the wibbons — aw ; — but a b-b-buck- 
board is such a beastly thing to turn wound — that's all. 

Minnie. O, that'll be easy enough ! Why, if the road 
isn't wide enough we can all get out and Capt. Houston turn 
the horse round while the rest of us can lift the buckboard 
round ! 

Mr. R. O that would be d-d-dweadfully heavy, you knaw, 
and such b-beastly hard work. Couldn't we put a horse on 
each end — aw — so we sha'n't have to turn wound ? ( Thought- 
fully.) No, that would be d-d-d-d-dweadfully — aw — awk^ 
ward for the other horse — aw — d-d-dweadfully awkward; 
(Brightening) b-b-b-but Sholly knows all about it. It's all 
wight ! I'm agweed ! 



A BLACK DIAMOND. 15 

Fanny. What a delightful man you are, Mr. Radford — so 
good natured — so obliging. 

Mr. R. Now, do you weally think so, Miss Fanny? You 

— aw — over — over — aw — you flattah me ; you wouldn't 
flattah a poor fellah, would you, now? 

Minnie. Where's your dear little dog, Mr. Radford? I 
have seen him with you but once to-day, and he's such a con- 
stant companion, I miss the dear little pet. 

Mr. R. {embarrassed). I — -I weally — I — in fact the 
pooah d-d-d-dear cweataw has wetired ! 

Fanny. Retired, Mr. Radford ! 

Minnie. Is he sick? 

Mr. R. {nervously). Aw — no — I mean yes — not ex- 
actly, you know — aw — but — only a little indisposed, that's 
all. 

Fanny. Why, how did it nappen? I saw him going off 
with you to the woods not more than two hours ago. 

Mr. R. Yes, that's it; he d-d-d-did ; b-b-b-b-but he 
met with an accident — in fact a — aw — wild cweataw in the 
woods — aw — aw — aw — made it vewy unpleasant for him ; 
he d-d-did now, 'pon honor ! I — aw — aw — 

Minnie. O, poor little Zippy! 

Fanny. Was it a horrible bear that attacked him, Mr. 
Radford? 

Minnie. Or a terrible rattlesnake ? It wasn't a rattlesnake 
was it, Mr. Radford? 

Mr. R. No — aw — nothing with wattles, Miss Minnie. 
Weally, I d-d-d-don't wemembah. I think it was a — aw 

— aw — 

Fanny. It wasn't a wild cat, was it? 

Mr. R. No, I weccollect that ; it wasn't a wild cat ; 
b-b-b-but it was some kind of a cat. 

Capt. H. It was a vewy peculiar cat, vewy. 

Mr. R. Yes, a — aw — d-d-dweadfully b-b-beastly cat. 

Fanny. Dear little Zippy ! Did the horrible creature try 
to claw his eyes out? I shall never dare to go out into the 
woods again — never ! Do try to remember the wild beast 
that attacked him. 

Minnie. Do go and get the sweet little pet. Let us 
see him. Perhaps we can do something to relieve his suffer- 
ings. 

Mr. R p I — I — weally, you — aw — must excuse me, 



l6 A BLACK DIAMOND. 

ladies, weally — I — I — you — it's of no consequence. He 
will wecovah. I put him in water immediately aftaw his 
unpleasant encountaw — b-b-b-b-but he d-d-does — puffume 
the air puffectly d-d-d-dweadful ! I — I — I've alweady used 
two b-b-b-bottles of cologne on him — b-b-b-but I don't 
wemembaw the name of the cweataw he encountawed. I 
have twied, weally, but I can't wemembaw. 

Capt. H. Zip is a bwave little cweataw, though. The 
feliaws will go wild over him when we weturn. 

Mr. R. Yes, he's a fine dawg. I had him — aw — wegis- 

— yes — wegistawed at the Club in London when I bought 
him. 

Minnie. Don't you want to go out and take a little walk? 
Come, (to Capt. H.) let us get up an appetite for supper. 

Fanny. I believe I'm too tired. We'll see you at table 
though. 

Minnie. Very well, aii revoirl 

(Exit Minnie and Capt. H.) 

Mr. R. (sitting beside her on the sofa). Miss Fanny, I've 
just thought of an answer to my — aw — my conundwum. 
Would you — aw — like to hear it ? 

Fanny. Let me see ; what was the conundrum ! I 
believe I've forgotten it. 

Mr. R. (thoughtfully'). It was — aw — it was — now 
what the dickens was that conundwum — O — O — yes — 
Why are we two one, Miss Fanny ? 

Fanny (movi?ig to upper end of sofa). But we are not 
one. You sit there at your end of the sofa and I am up 
here at my end. We are two. 

Mr. R. That's — wather — stwange. I — I — d-d-d- 
clidn't give it wight. It was — O — it was 'Why are we 
two ?' Yes, yes, — that's wight — Why are we two ? 

Fanny (coldly). Because we aren't one, I presume. 

Mr. R. (moving up). Y-ye-yes, that's it, Miss Fanny, I 
pwesume so, too, — b-b-b-b-b — 

Fanny (motioning him off). That was not the one you 
gave, Mr. Radford. It was, " How can two be one ?" 

Mr. R. O — O yes! So it was. (Thoughtfully.) 
Now — now — what was the answer? O — O — I have it. 

— We can marwy ! (Clasping his hands.) O, Miss Fanny, 
I would do anything for you. — I would go through flaw and 
wataw for you — I would, weally. — I — I would go — 



A BLACK DIAMOND. 1 7 

Hulda {rushing in suddenly}. Fiah ! fiah ! fiah ! O, 
Miss Fanny, fiah ! 

Fanny (-springing up). Where, Hulda! 

Mr. R. O — I — I — must — weally, you must excuse — 
{Wringing hands.} you must pardon me, — but I must wun ! 

{Exit in haste. ) 

Hulda {dropping on floor}. Hi! hi! hi! ha! ha! ha! 
O, golly, Miss Fanny, aint he a dandy. — He'd go froo fire 
an' water for you, he would. O my ! he ! he ! he ! ha ! ha ! 
ha! 

Fanny. Hulda, what do you mean ? Where is the fire ? 
Is there any fire at all ? Hulda, why don't you speak to me ? 

Hulda. Course dar is! O dey's an orful fire, he! he! 
he ! an orful fire — down in de kitchen stove ! An de 
misses she's — (£wf Fanny.) Now whar's dat dyspeptic 
gone ? She's done got mad wid me, I reckon. {Sighs.) 
Well, I s'pose I shall get ober it ef I tries hard. Bet Mars'r 
Clare wouldn't a runned off from Miss Embly like dat. I 
wonder how far dat dude'll run. {Goes to window. Laughs.) 
I hope ter die ef dar aint a cloud ob dust down de road, now 
whar he's run. {In surprise.) Golly, it's de steam injine ! 
dey's a comin' heah! {Throwing tip both hands.) O, I 
hope ter die — whar'll I hide ? {Runs out hastily.) 

CURTAIN. 



l8 A BLACK DIAMOND. 



ACT II. 



SCENE. — Same as in the preceding act. Three weeks are 
supposed to have elapsed since the last act. Dr. Zinn sits 
at table writing when curtain rises. Enter Claremont 
Goodell in farm costume. 

Clare. Ah ! Good morning, Miss Matilda. {Shaking 
hands.) You see I've got back to work again. 

Dr. Zinn. Yes, I see you've returned like a sensible 
fellow. Why, instead of going off to the mountains for two 
or three weeks with those other young men, didn't you 
confide in me, and let me help you out of your difficulties ? 
You have been to me with your troubles ever since you were 
a child, and now you suddenly forget you have a friend and 
disappear among the mountains to sulk it out by yourself, eh ? 

Clare. No, do not misunderstand me! I did not speak 
to you about this, because there is no help for it, whatever, 
Miss Matilda. 

Dr. Zinn. Tut ! tut ! don't call me by that name here, 

— at least, not yet, — but go on. 

Clare. Well, there is but little to say. You know my 
circumstances only too well. You are aware that I have just 
managed to graduate from college — by your kind assistance, 
and that a young man with nothing but his hands and brain 
is hardly in position to offer to support a wife. What little 
money I am able to earn here on the farm this summer will 
barely suffice to establish me in city quarters in the fall and 

— O, well it is no use to think of it. I would not have 
troubled you with my affairs, had you not requested me to 
do so, and almost demanded my return. 

Dr. Zinn. Well, Clare, my dear boy, I have not been 
blind during the past two months and shouldn't have sent 
for you had I not wished to assist you. You desire to marry 
(my niece Emily Makepeace ? {Clare nods.) I see no 
impossibility about that. I have known you, Clare, ever 
since you were a child in pinafores. I have cared for you 
ever since your dear mother, who was my dearest friend, 
died and gave you into my charge. You have grown up 
under my eye, as it were, and I consider you a desirable 
match for any young lady. During your absence, surmising 
its cause, I have taken the liberty to write to her parents, and 



A BLACK DIAMOND. 19 

they concur heartily in all my arrangements if Emily herself 
does not oppose them. You have not spoken as yet to 
Emily — a very honorable proceeding on your part — but I 
desire you to do so immediately — 

Clare. But Miss Matildy — I mean Dr. Zirin ■ — I wish 
you would drop this disguise ! — how can I support a wife 
when I can't even support myself ? It's absurd to think of 
it. I shouldn't blame the young lady if she laughed in my 
face at the idea of such a thing ! 

Dr. Zinn. Well, Clare, you know I adopted this disguise 
simply to see my three nieces from a stranger's standpoint 
and learn which one of them is most capable of taking care 
of a large property. I have discovered that my niece Emily 
is in every respect eminently superior to Minnie and Fanny 
and have, therefore, decided to leave her the bulk of my 
fortune on one condition — and that is, that she shall marry 
Claremont Goodell, the worthy son of a beloved friend. 
(He attempts to speak.} No. I won't hear anything. You 
know I am used to having my own way, and I am deter- 
mined not to be thwarted in this. Here comes someone. 
We cannot talk any longer, now, but I shall expecf to hear a 
good report of you before night. {Exit.} 

Clare. If this isn't a fix for an ambitious young man. 
What sort of an opinion will Miss Emily have of me, I 
wonder. She can have her property only on condition that 
she marries me. What if she considers the encumbrance an 
objection to the property ! Why can't Miss Matilda see 
what a ludicrous position she places me in ? I, Claremont 
Goodell, am to have my bread and butter furnished me by 
my wife. No ! I won't marry her on those conditions. I'll 
make a name first, anyway — but I must know my fate 
to-day. I cannot work and wait in suspense any longer ; this 
much of Miss Matildy's advice I will take, but no more, I 
cannot marry her till I have made a name. (Sits at desk 
and writes. Hulda with much noise crawls out from under 
a table where she has been hiding. ) 

Hulda (stretching and rubbing elbows'). I's mos' dead, 
Mas'r Clare, — all cooped up in dat ar little place. I t'ought 
you'd nebber go. 

Clare. Hulda, have you been listening again ? 

Hulda (throwing up both hands). Law! no, Mas'r 
Clare. Hope ter die ef I was ! I's tired an' jes went an' lay 



20 A BLACK DIAMOND. 

down, dat 1 s all. Say, is you go^'n ter marry Miss Embly ? 

Clare (sternly'). Hulda, didn't you tell me that you 
hadn't been listening ? 

Hulda. Laws sakes ! I heered dat widout listening. It 
jes 1 corned right inter my ears an' I couldn't help it nohow. 
I 'clare ter gracious, I couldn't ! 

Clare (soberly) . Hulda, you're about as mischievous a 
girl as I ever saw. I wouldn't have had you overhear what 
has been said in this room within the last half hour for a 
good deal of money — 

Hulda. I couldn't help it, hones' an' true ! 

Clare. But now I am going to trust you a good deal, 
(Hulda bobs her head and chews her tire strings) and will 
tell you something that I want nobody to know about until 
Miss Emily gives you permission to speak of it, do you 
understand ? 

Hulda. Yes, Mas'r Clare, I'd do anyt'ings fur Miss 
Embly. 'Taint ebbery lady 'at 'ud take a poor little brack 
nigger's part like me and — boo-hoo ! — an' take car ob her 
when she's sick like she did me — boo-hoo ! when I tumbled 
inter de well an 1 spoilt all de water so de bo'ders couldn't 
drink it — boo-hoo ! — Hope ter die ef I didn't. 

Clare. Well, well, yes, I know all about it. That cow- 
ardly Radford pushed you in, I believe, because you inter- 
rupted a little speech of his. Well, I settled that account 
with him ; he won't try anything of that sort again, I reckon. 
But, Hulda, now listen. I am going to marry Miss Emily 
one of these days if she will have me, and I want you to take 
this note to her immediately. It may be a good while yet, 
but — well, here is the note. Run, and mind that you say 
nothing about this to any one. 

Hulda. Yes, sah! (Starts, then turns back.) Say, don't 
you tell Miss Embly as how I hid under the table, case I tole 
her I nebber wouldn't do it no more, an' she might tink I 
didn't keep my promise. 

Clare (laughing) . Well, see that you never do it again. 
(Exit Hulda.) My fate now hangs on those roses I pre- 
sented her this morning. If she favors my suit she will wear 
them. If not — well — if not I shall remain here no longer, 
in spite of dear, old Miss Matilda, who treats me as if I were 
the boy I was four years ago when I left for college. 
(Enter Mr. R. and Capt. H., who start on seeing Clare) . 



A BLACK DIAMOND. 21 

Mr. R. O, I b-b-beg pardon. Weally — (Starts to leave, 
room, running into Capt. H.) 

Clare. Do not mind me, gentlemen, I am going right 
out. (Arranges papers on desk, then exit.\ 

Capt. H. Why don't you punish him for his beastly im- 
pertinence, Gawge, I would. Say, swords for two, eh? 

Mr. R. No, I — aw — I — I'd wather not. I d-d-d-d-don't 
like swoahds. 

Capt. H. Well, then say pistols for two. It would be 
quite a womantic stowy to tell the fellaws at the London 
Clawb, youknaw. 

Mr. R. No, I d-d-don 1 t appweciate that kind of womance, 
Sholly. The fact is I — I — I'm in love and I shouldn't 
want to die just now, you knaw. (Sighs. ~) 

Capt. H. What, again, Gawge? 

Mr. R. Yaws, again ; but this is the last time — positively 
the last time, and I weally mean it now. I have found some- 
one — aw — who can support me and give me a nice home. 
I need a home — I do weally — and her paw is vewy — aw 
— pwiricely in his wiches. 

Capt. H. Have you pwoposed, Gawge? 

Mr. R. Yes — aw — no — well, weally, I twied one day 
about thrwee weeks ago ; b-b-b-but I — aw — I d-d-didn't 
finish — aw. 

Capt. H. O, she turned the conversation, as they always 
do at such times, did she? 

Mr. R. O, no, I was about — aw — to go d-d-down on 
my knees and make my declawations when that d-d-d-d-d- 
dweadful niggah vewy wudely interwupted me and I've nevah 
been able to get wound to the point since. 

Capt. H. O, well, there's plenty of time. They are to 
stay severwal weeks longer, I believe. They expect their 
aunt to-morrow. 

(Enter Dr. Zinn unperceived and seats herself at desk.~) 

Mr. R. Yaws, I shall b-b-be on my best behavior 
toward the old lady — aw — and let her see what a — aw — 
nice nephew — aw — I shall make — aw. I will wait upon 
her by inches, old fellaw. It makes me wearwy to think 
of it though — so much work, you knaw. 

Dr. Zinn. You needn't trouble yourself, young man; I 
have already seen you in your true character, and it may 
interest you to know that I am the aunt whom you expected 



22 A BLACK DIAMOND. 

to dupe. I shall never consent to either of my niece's having 
anything to do with you, and their fathers will second my views 
in the matter. 

Mr. R. I think I shall faint, Sholly. Weally, this is 
too d-d-d-dweadful. (Recovers. .) I am gwateful to you, 
madam, for b-b-b-being considerwate enough of my feelings 
to weveal yourself before I had — aw — done anything wash, 
you knaw. I couldn't possibly marwy into your family, you 
knaw, for we could nevaw agwee — aw — doncher knaw. 

Dr. Zinn. That wouldn't make the slightest difference 
to me, young man, whether you agreed with me or not. I 
generally have my way in whatever I undertake. 

(Enter Hulda with a tiny mitten tied to a long string in each 

. hand.} 

Hulda. Dar, heah you is ! Fs been hunting fur you mos 1 
fi' minutes. {Presenting a mitten to each.} Miss Minnie an' 
Miss Fanny axed me ter give 3 r er dese yer mittens. Why 
don't yer take 'em? Dey say as how you'd un'stan, an' heah 
dey is. Dey hearn you talk 'bout dere pa's money, I specs, 
an' dey didn't like it mighty well. 

Mr. R. Sholly, hold me — I shall expire ! (Is supported 
from the room by Capt. H.) 

Dr. Zinn. Well, those girls have got a mite of sense 
left after all. I suppose I must not be too hard on them. 
They are young and don't realize what they are doing. But 
my niece Emily is a treasure, and I'll manage that young jack- 
anapes, Clare, after all, see if I don't, in spite of his romantic 
notions about receiving money from his wife. Law sakes ! 
the young men in my day were right the other way. If their 
ideas had been only one half as lofty as Clare's it is quite 
possible that I wouldn't have been the old maid that I am. 
Well, we'll see, we'll see ! Where is Mr. Goodell, Hulda? 

Hulda. I met him out'en de hall when I corned in, an' 
didn't he look fine. He takes all de shine off 'n dem dudes 
— - looked as ef he'd jess corned out'en a bandbox. (Fussing 
around Dr. Zinn, arranging laces, &C. ) Sakes alive ! I 
don't know what dem baby men won't do next ter be afraid ob 
a little mitten like dat. (Holding one up.} 

(Enter Minnie and Fanny.) 

Minnie. Well, Hulda, did you deliver our message ? 
Hulda. Brest ef I didn't, Miss Minnie, an' dose men was 



A BLACK DIAMOND. ^3 

mos' paralized ! Dey was ! at dat little mitten, too ! (Holding 
it up.} Golly, I'd rudder be brack and grow up, dan a baby 
all de time. 

Fanny. I suppose Mr. Radford fainted as usual. 

Hulda. I reckon you'd fink so, Miss Fanny. He went 
ober like a stick ob wood, and de Cap'n had ter bowlster him 
up an' hold onter 'ini. 

Dr. Zinn. Minnie and Fanny Makepeace, you have acted 
more sensibly to-day than you have during your six weeks' stay 
here. It is well that you have dismissed these young men 
yourselves, otherwise I should have been obliged to do so. 

Minnie and Fanny. You ! 

Hulda (in co7nic surprise}. You ! 

Minnie. What do you mean, Dr. Zinn? Explain yourself. 

Dr. Zinn. I am Dr. Zinn no longer, but your aunt — 
Matilda Makepeace. 

Minnie and Fanny (in surprise and consternation} . Aunt 
Matilda ! 

Hulda (imitates unconsciously} . Aunt Matilda ! 

Dr. Zinn. Yes, your aunt. Wishing to become better 
acquainted with my three nieces than I could otherwise, I 
adopted this little disguise — which I could easily do, as you 
had never seen me — in order to study their characters from 
a stranger's standpoint. Whether you have lived up to the 
best impulses of your natures and to the standard to which 
you have been trained by your parents, or not, during these 
weeks, your own consciences will tell you. I feel that you are 
better than you have shown yourselves and that your unwonted 
freedom from restraint has led you into mistakes which a 
larger experience will teach you to guard against. 

Minnie. Aunt Matilda, I have been very rude to you. I 
should not blame you were you to refuse to have anything, 
to do with a niece who had so disgraced herself and her home 
training as I have done. Can you forgive me, aunt? 

Aunt Matilda. I can easily forgive you. (Holding out 
hand and offering the other to Fanny.) Yes, and you, too, 
Fanny. I have tried to be an impartial observer and I find 
that your mistakes are due largely to want of judgment and 
inexperience. You rely altogether too much on appearances. 
You would have encouraged those young men because they 
appeared like finished gentlemen and snubbed your aunt be- 
cause she appeared to be a poor, uninteresting metaphysician. 



24 A BLACK DIAMOND. 

{Enter Emily wearing the roses, accompanied by Clare.) 

Clare. Miss Matilda, allow me to present to you your 
niece, Emily, and my future wife. 

Emily. What, you dear old Dr. Zinn, are you my aunt 
Matilda? {Embraces .) 

Aunt Matilda. Yes, my dear niece, and now — 

Hulda. Boo-hoo ! boo-hoo ! {Laments loudly.') 

Emily. Why, Hulda, what's the matter? 

Hulda. Fs all alone, I is. I ain't got no aunt, nor no — 
no — no — b-b-boo-hoo ! — no nothing. 

Aunt Matilda. Yes, you have, Hulda. Miss Minnie 
has already found you too hard to manage, so I am going to 
take you home with me until we go to Emily's house in the 
city, where she will probably find a place for us both. 

Clare. As soon as I have earned a name, Miss Matilda. 

Aunt Matilda. Well, we won't dispute that point till 
later on. But you know I always have my way, Clare. 

• CURTAIN. 






«p 




... 

o 













































V 






















■;"- 



( *P^ 



m 



a 















Vo 









w 








































































. 







■3SV 












